This fall was a hard semester for me, filled with many moments where I doubted if I was really supposed to be in seminary. While I have plenty of people affirming me externally, I can't deny the sense of inadequacy I feel.
Over Christmas break, I ended up spending a week back at my old job. I worked as a case manager at a homeless shelter prior to coming to seminary. As I sat in my old chair, at my old desk, staring out the window at the same “Grant Street” sign, methodically going through the files that I set up and reading the notes on the clients that I worked with, I knew that I could quit seminary and come back to Pennsylvania, and I would have this job waiting for me. No problem.
Over Christmas break, I ended up spending a week back at my old job. I worked as a case manager at a homeless shelter prior to coming to seminary. As I sat in my old chair, at my old desk, staring out the window at the same “Grant Street” sign, methodically going through the files that I set up and reading the notes on the clients that I worked with, I knew that I could quit seminary and come back to Pennsylvania, and I would have this job waiting for me. No problem.
As easy as it could be to go back, almost like the prodigal daughter, I know it’s not where I’m supposed to be. I feel selfish being in school here in
”The opposite of faith isn’t doubt. It’s certainty.”—Ann Lamott
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