6 weeks , 45 days, 1008 hours, 60480 minutes until…

March Madness? Spring?

Perhaps those things and much more but now we weary travelers gather in front of the hearth awaiting the passing of this storm within and throughout Creation; a tsunami of classes, papers, reading and sleepless nights. We are released from the endless pasted smiles on our faces flowing down neatly cobbled hallways exchanging stories and baring our souls for strangers.  We huddle in darkened corners at stout carved wooden tables, mumbling and rearranging our futures with “So what are my top three choices again?” and “Do I really want to spend a year here?”

Meanwhile, the waterfalls have begun to open and push life forth as the Seniors are finding out now what Synod will be welcoming them and where they will be calling home. It is a shift in the atmosphere for many of us-we as Middlers/Interriddlers struggling over endless bridges of classes, trying to keep focused all the while realizing that in six weeks those doors will burst forth, opening us a new journey-and the Holy Spirit leading the way with a smile, in Her pink sandals cheering us along, calling out "You are a child of God!"

For now, we are hopeful for days that fill the skies with warmth and our afternoons playing volleyball, stretching out in the sun; in this Lenten season, we await that Sunday morning where the Sun will appear a bit different to our gaze but our souls will dances as fragile flames rejoicing at the coming of something phenomenal, something counter-cultural.

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.

At the Feet of the Elders

What a way to celebrate a birthday.

As my pathways swerve deeper into the beauty of this ministry and of my call, I am privileged to be in the presence of theologians who shine as rare as luminous gems resting behind crystal glass.

It is apparent that this church of brothers and sisters perhaps does not always reflect who I am in the ethereal mirror which shimmers before me; the question is posed, for an ancient tribe of people so connected to the Creator why have we clung to Christianity throughout the ages?

When you are called, you are called.

Dr. James Cone, a premier African American theologian stated during the tumultuous and turbulent 60’s that “God is Black.” As we continue to explore voices that cry out for identification and liberation in the here and now, Dr. Cone reiterates, “I still believe that ‘God is Black ‘in the sense that God’s identity is found in the faces of those who are exploited and humiliated because of their color. But I also believe that God is mother, rice, red and a host of other things that give life to those whom society condemns to death.”

The Creator breathes justice within our spirits and it vibrates into how we can encourage and teach others.

So, Wednesday evening what could be more important than being in the midst of the Conference of International Black Lutherans as they celebrated their 25^th anniversary? Elders, some like Dr. Rudy Featherstone who was Dr. Perry’s pastor; Elders such as Bishop Holloway from the Southeastern Ohio Synod who brought his wit and humor as he reconnected with others; Elders such as Peter Nash who reminded us in worship that evening “the jar of meal will never be emptied and the jug of oil will not fail”. 

You can never have too much church...

Being among these elders of African descent awakened me to the fact that the next generation of CIBL  needed to arise from the dying waves that visit the shores in the deepness of the evening and as they listened to my voice I realized, proudly that I was one among them.

Lape Bondye, God’s Peace.

Ahhhhh The Memories!

One year ago I attended LSTC's seminary sampler, and today starts this year's fall session of the sampler. For me, it was two days well spent, and I hope this year's attendees find their time well spent also. My journey included visiting three seminaries that are fairly close to home in Madison, WI. While I had my mind made up as to which seminary I was going to attend, life happened; and our family was given dad's diagnosis of Alzheimer's. My sisters and I could finally name all the odd things dad was doing since mom's death 18 months earlier, but we knew we needed to work with dad to keep him safe and independent as long as possible. Seminary was put aside as my sisters and I worked with various agencies, learned how complex the paperwork and waiting periods are and also learned that people of meager financial means have so few options to truly keep their loved one safe.

Working with these organizations, we did find a fantastic place for dad to live, and he is still there. We know that he is cared for, far better than any one of us girls could, so I went ahead and re-visited seminary. By this time I changed how I would 'do school' and pretty much had my mind made up to attend LSTC full time, and go home on the weekends. But I never lived on campus because I got my undergrad while working full time, so I wanted to experience seminary life. So I attended the seminary sampler last fall. From the initial emails from staff, I pretty much had confirmation that attending seminary here was the correct decision. And with every encounter, my “yes” was simply reaffirmed. Whether it was meeting professors, current students, and even potential students, some who are now my classmates, LSTC was the place I was called to be for my seminary studies, and this fantastic journey to become an ordained pastor.

This morning's sermon title was “Learning Obedience”, and I was happy to hear the pastor say that he too has a hard time with the word. Something about the word simply rubs me the wrong way, but this morning I thought of it differently, and realized that last year's seminary sampler was one of the first steps I took in obeying my call from God and saying YES to seminary. Then again, LSTC makes it hard to NOT obey my call from God!

Fall Foliage by Gina Kresic

If anyone is on the fence regarding seminary, if you are thinking ordination, Phd studies, or other Master's level coursework- I cannot recommend highly enough the seminary sampler. Don't worry if you didn't make it to this one, there is another one in March 2013!

Shalom!

The Power to Say No: A Journey

I'm surprised I haven't found this plasted across my Treehouse Door..

A number of weeks ago, the middlers, super middlers and the interiddlers gathered in the spacious, sprawling Common Room on the third floor during our free time (which is commonly known as lunch time) for the wonderful presentation by our Field Ed folks on "Brace Yourself (blank) is getting Real" or what is more known as Internship Orientation. They attempt to make this as cheerful as possible, with colorful paper smiling up at us loaded with tons of information.

Dr. Baeder was in the midst of answering question when the subject of what a typical (insert laughter here) week within the parish/congregation might look like. This translated into a 55 hour work week of fun. I swiveled around in my chair to high five my other awesome interiddler gal and we silently nodded "We got this." However the tension in the room increased almost in waves upon hearing these words and from the back of the room, someone pipped up "55 hours? The students need to organize and unionize! That's ridiculous."

Before the snarky (term of endearment)  part of me (sung to the tune of Katy Perry's 'Best Part of Me') surfaced thanks to a year in my fabulous MIC congregation(no worries, I love them all to pieces), I had to pause for a moment: although longer days and prayerful nights were going to be the norm in all of our vocational lives, we still needed to practice self-care which does not come easy. As pastors and depending on the situation, we literally could be doing many things for the betterment of our parishes and our congregational members. We may end up taking care of things that perhaps we had not thought of; we may be snatching the reins of life because we are perfectionists and if its going to get accomplished, we want it done correctly.

And that brings me to the present, because recently a number of my friends have pulled a "NO" intervention on me. I am seriously guilty of getting involved in any and everything because, well I blame it on my genes (and my mother would agree wholeheartedly). Projects, benefit concerts, problems, organizing people, running meetings, high liturgical circus fun...yes every time these are presented my mind begins reeling about how we can get these things perfectly finished and polished. I can not say no. Is it the fact that I am so enthused about being in Seminary and involved in ministry that I do flying leaps over this journey, racing towards a horizon that is beautifully blinded by the fragility of sunrise?

Then again, the Creator raised His hands to the darkness of the beginning of time and with a deliberate and slow tempo created a thing of wonder and a joy to behold and praise forever and ever. There are moments when He tugs at my hand and sits me down to show me corners of this, Mother Earth and whispers for me to stand still and behold. 

So I am practicing this, saying no and speaking life into what I can do with joy and a resounding "Yes". I am practicing surfing on waves that can carrying me safely onto shores filled with seashells, curled and hidden in the waters of Baptism. 

It is going to be very hard, however to let go of control and just breathe.

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.

Some Thoughts From the Car

Today I have found myself thinking a lot.  Mostly because I drove for 3 hours and there’s not much else to do other than sing songs that the radio or my CD player may offer.  I’m thinking about songs that would be sweet for this year’s musical, thinking about how to write my statement of the Gospel in 50 words or less, thinking about possible future sermon topics, and thinking about the concept of my canon within the canon.  This mostly came up in light of the popularized fragment which may, kind of, somewhat, slightly, possibly, if we look really hard enough suggest that Jesus had a wife (or in any case a gunaika, Greek for “woman” as well as “wife”).

Somewhere in the midst of all of my thinking I came to the conclusion that I’m at the point in my seminary professional process where I need to start making some of my own definitions and look for some answers to give.   I’m coming to the realization that, while I am still very free to ask questions, it was weird to think that I will be asked questions about religion, theology, who Jesus is and what Jesus means, prayer, and all sorts of other subjects.   Granted, I’ve written my fair share of papers which have questions about these subjects within their prompts, but these questions will now be coming from a totally different community that I am not used to addressing.  Whether from confirmation students or candidacy committees, new questions will come my way and they won’t be on paper or allow me three hours to provide a written analysis.  For some reason, this really intimidates me.

I have had an excellent education.  I have had good friends and family members who have challenged and encouraged me.  I realize this is a process that does not end, but right now I wouldn't mind if things slowed down a little.  I guess this could be what some may call a “growing edge.”

Until Next Thursday!  

What Kind of Theologian Are You?

"..every theologian is committed and alienated; he is always in faith and doubt; he is inside and outside the theological circle" Paul Tillich

Over the summer months while I was immersed in the throes of Youth and Outdoor Ministry, my former Ministry in Context pastor suggested some light theological reading before diving into the churning, dark and foreboding waters of Systematic Theology. Apparently Systematics becomes the turning point of our academic lives where the practical we have studied, learned pulls our thoughts and spirits deeper into the journey. In other words, we run screaming at the mere mention of Paul Tillich.

As the Semester triumphantly began and my first class was S.T. I cringed slightly. The beauty of the summer had come, and gone; I'd barely had time to sink and submerge myself into the joys of relaxation and respite; primarily because I was running around 640 acres of insanity. I may have mentioned this before. I digress.

Bringing this back to the forefront, although I had initially ordered and carried with me this wonderful read called "Faith Seeking Understanding" by Migliore, I never got a chance to crack it open and run rampant through its pages. This semester, I mused sadly, was going to be rocky.

Dr. Lea opened up class with an amusing question "What kind of theologian do you see yourself?" My wonderful friend and neighbor next to me stated "How can I? I really have never thought of myself as one." My other fellow classmate (the fellow blogger insanely taking a class on 1 Corinthians) quipped "Uh, okay?" There was laughter and collaboration as we all attempted to figure this out for ourselves. 

For this Gypsy Seminarian, the lingo of who I am as a theologian has been trapped in the English language. Who I am as a child of the Creator and what knowledge and wisdom has been passed down through the drums of the ages; of how my ancestors embraced Creation and allowed themselves to be vulnerable to the message of God; what truly being Christ-like means for my vocation and the message of the Scriptures, especially the Psalms means to my ministry and my mission in this life. 

"Can a system of life which has been practiced for centuries be entirely worthless? Or does it contain elements of divine knowledge that might shed a new understand of the Christian faith? Theology of the ancestors is about an interpretation of the past in a way that shows the present experience and knowledge of God in Jesus Christ as reflected in the lives of the African people."

Ancestral Theology. Hmm.

Stay Tuned.

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.

Only a Month to Go

I'm at the point now where I have one month left of CPE before officially beginning my Middler year.  At this point we're doing some mid-unit evaluations and I'm left wondering: what have I learned so far?

Well, for starters, I've learned that chaplaincy isn't for me, but pastoral care is.  Learning to listen and be an pastoral figure in the lives of people I minister to and with has been significantly more challenging that I thought it would be, but I love it.  One day, after feeling slightly discouraged because I realize that chaplaincy was not something I wanted to do for the majority of my ministry, someone surprisingly walked into the pastoral care office and we began a pastoral care session "on the fly".  I couldn't believe what happened! I listened, tears flowed, I understood, we came to a conclusion together and learned from each other in that conversation!  Afterwords I thought to myself, "that could happen at a parish!" and got a little giddy at the thought that I just practiced genuine pastoral care in a situation that I could encounter in a church setting. That's how I began to understand that chaplaincy might not be up my alley, but that's ok.  It will certainly be a part of my ministry and I understand that, but I see now why CPE entails a lot of self-understanding, sometimes more so than calling it job training.

The other big thing that I'm learning is that self-care is ok too.  In fact, I'm finding that the more I practice my self-care the more effective my visits are.  I really burnt myself out early on, thinking that I needed to work work and work to get my face into every room I was assigned.  We had short introductory conversations that didn't really seem to delve too deeply into any sort of concern or topic which was on their mind in a significant way.  All of that changed as I modified my routine to include more practice of self care.  Leisure reading, working out, watching movies, playing games, and resting have all contributed to a deeper interaction with my group members and residents.

Aside from these wonderful lessons, I have also been wrestling with conceptions of God, worship planning, understanding and ministering with people with cognitive impairments of multiple kinds, and other, you know, trivial stuff :P
All in all, it's been a pretty significant summer in Hyde Park and I have to say I feel more affirmed for it.

Well I don't know what you came to do...

...but I came to praise the Lord!

This was the way one of the songs I got to sing at Sugar Creek Bible Camp this past week began. I had never heard the song before, and some of the songs I did know we're interpreted a little differently, but the most important thing is that I got the chance to once again experience outdoor ministry during the summer! The last time I had been at a summer camp during the summer was at LMC in the summer of 2007.

I was at SCBC as part of the Youth In Mission office (sensing a theme with my summer jobs this year?) as an Outdoor Ministry Ambassador. Basically what that meant was that I got to hang out with kids all day, hike some gorgeous trails, and most importantly, talk with counselors about where they saw God in their lives, and what they felt they were called to do in living out their baptismal vocation. I also got to talk to counselors about other types of ministry in the ELCA that might be a possibility sooner than seminary, such as Lutheran Volunteer Corps, Border Servant Corps, Urban Servant Corps, and Young Adults in Global Mission. On top of that, I got to share my own call story, and how I came to be in seminary at this point in my life.

I once heard a statistic that 72% of seminarians cite outdoor ministry as a major part of their faith formation, and it doesn't surprise me at all...I was one of them. And so, if these counselors go on to seminary or not, it was an absolute gift to be able to walk with them on just a tiny portion of their journey, and to get to hear the calling of God in their lives. I am constantly amazed at the passion for serving Christ in those I had the pleasure of talking to.

Where has God called you?