Life As We Know It....

"Are you ready for the Workshop?"

...is complicated.

There seems to be a common thread which has continually blossomed in conversations throughout these past couple of weeks-the elusive imp of self care and the laughing sprite of balance. Especially those of us who are parents leap into the morning blindly, not knowing what awaits in the crazy crayola colored waves below. 

But I digress.

In a sci-fi/fantasy novel by Anne McCaffrey entitled "Killashandra", the series surrounds the eclectic and surreal journey of our heroine who after being denied her field of study, travels to a mysterious and dangerous planet hoping to become a member of the exclusive Heptite Guild. This transformation only happens when a symboint fuses within the DNA of the host, thereby rendering said host with enhanced sensory capabilities and extended longevity. Killa's surroundings go from the dull gray that she and others in her class are used to into the true brilliance of colors and the intensity of textures that have been hiding until that explosive moment. 

The Holy Spirit can sometimes be that sneaky symboint: soaking our very beings and attaching Herself to our hearts, revealing the complexity and yet the beauty of the Creator's mission and ministry that He cradles and follows besides us, understanding when we can not see the grace and peace awaiting over the horizon.

For myself and 35 other energized and nervous souls, the unveiling of the dawn rained down upon us of a new awakening-the reality that our journey towards first call has caught pace with the winds, and lifts our souls to soar onward and outward. Laughter and wonder mirrored each of our faces this morning while in the company of the valiant Field Education office. Internship interviews are scheduled, life as we know it now no longer simmers with the same song.

It's finally getting real, folks.

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.

Some Thoughts From the Car

Today I have found myself thinking a lot.  Mostly because I drove for 3 hours and there’s not much else to do other than sing songs that the radio or my CD player may offer.  I’m thinking about songs that would be sweet for this year’s musical, thinking about how to write my statement of the Gospel in 50 words or less, thinking about possible future sermon topics, and thinking about the concept of my canon within the canon.  This mostly came up in light of the popularized fragment which may, kind of, somewhat, slightly, possibly, if we look really hard enough suggest that Jesus had a wife (or in any case a gunaika, Greek for “woman” as well as “wife”).

Somewhere in the midst of all of my thinking I came to the conclusion that I’m at the point in my seminary professional process where I need to start making some of my own definitions and look for some answers to give.   I’m coming to the realization that, while I am still very free to ask questions, it was weird to think that I will be asked questions about religion, theology, who Jesus is and what Jesus means, prayer, and all sorts of other subjects.   Granted, I’ve written my fair share of papers which have questions about these subjects within their prompts, but these questions will now be coming from a totally different community that I am not used to addressing.  Whether from confirmation students or candidacy committees, new questions will come my way and they won’t be on paper or allow me three hours to provide a written analysis.  For some reason, this really intimidates me.

I have had an excellent education.  I have had good friends and family members who have challenged and encouraged me.  I realize this is a process that does not end, but right now I wouldn't mind if things slowed down a little.  I guess this could be what some may call a “growing edge.”

Until Next Thursday!  

Some Thoughts Before Class Begins...

Life at LSTC has significantly changed for me in the past two weeks.  CPE has ended, my roommates have made it back to the apartment, I have visited my family, the juniors have arrived and move in, I’ve begun translating all of 1 Corinthians in preparation for class and my amazon account has been used more this week than in the past 6 months as I have been on the hunt for books.  Still, I find it somewhat strange to consider myself a middler in the M. Div program.  I have actually made the mistake multiple times of calling myself and my classmates juniors.  Have we really grown up that fast?  I suppose some of the shock is a little leftover from processing some of the self-discovery I have begun doing through CPE.   A part of it is also because I haven’t gone through endorsement yet (but I did turn in that wonderful essay!!!).  Another part is probably because classes haven’t started.  Who knows? 

While I am finding myself challenged to think of myself and my colleagues as middlers in some sense, I can say that there are joys which will be coming my way this year.  First of all, I get to do MIC.  MIC stands for Ministry in Context.  It’s a part of our field education which places us in semi-local Lutheran congregations for seven hours a week to begin learning what it’s like being a part of a congregation as a pastor.  It’s another one of those many opportunities to grow in pastoral identity.

Another joy that I am looking forward to is some more leadership opportunities.  I’ll be on the Master’s Students Association this year as a representative of the class.  That’s pretty sweet.  I’ve never been on student government or anything like that before, but I’m actually kind of pumped to experience something that could be so similar to church council someday.  I also will get to show some leadership in other activities including the Improv group, some music opportunities, and in chapel settings. 

And then there’s Lutherbowl, of course.

In the wake of CPE and reorientation, I can honestly say I am very excited for the year to start.

Until Next Friday! 

The Year of the Interiddler

Coming to you live and direct..the Gypsy Project

Okay so perhaps I do not have my own radio show....

I am thankful that the end of this week approaches, and I am able to celebrate as well as being immensely  exhausted and saturated with community. Thankful to once more be joining you throughout another year of Seminary; for me this is the beginning..or the end?

It's strange when your pathway veers slightly and you are the only one remaining at the crossroads, your traveling companions continue and you lose sight of them in the distance and over the horizon. Then again I am not alone. I've coined the phrase "Interiddler" that is technically and officially I am still a middler having not embarked on Internship but I will be in 2013. I believe I've mentioned that it's different as orientation looms over us not seeing many of my classmates.

This beginning of the Seminary academic year however has been painful.

Each morning that I have gathered in the Grand Hallway or the Common Room, and seeing familiar faces I thought I'd still be in pain as last week we gathered to mourn the loss and celebrate the life of one of our classmates who now rests with the Creator. It was also strange as those events unfolded that my spirit could not mourn.

As I requested prayers through Facebook and Twitter one comment that arose covered in thorns was "There is a lot of depression at...."

Teachers who have to deal with students who are either homeless, abandoned by their parents because of their own shortcomings or involved in violence..they are depressed. Police Officers, EMT's, medical personnel, chaplains whose duty and passion is to protect, heal, save or walk with people and see the absolutely ugly side of humanity...they can be down. Community organizers who want to uplift a neighborhood or community and have political as well as personal roadblocks placed in front of them...can be locked in despair. Because where and what God has called us to and blessed us with this call, because we are dedicated to being bonded to our brothers and sisters in Christ, our brothers and sisters through faith sometimes we get disappointed in what life does not or will not yield to our very being and we feel...well...drained.

What I saw last Friday as we gathered together as the wider community were people who came to share the peace as strangers, neighbors and friends. What I witnessed was one young man's life that had touched so many. What I knew was that our lives can not just remain rooted in the depths of mud and muck; that the showers that rush and playfully douse our physical presence remind us of who we are and whose we are. What I know is that this year, striving to be intentional, vulnerable and pastoral to one another only fuels the fire of what our risen Christ wants us to learn and wants us to live out.

So it is alright to laugh and connect and just be as if everything was the same this week. And yet, reaching out to one another we have a deeper understanding of what it truly means to be brothers and sisters in the risen Christ. For many it is the beginning of a journey of self discovery, for others it is the end of a cornucopia of craziness and delight as first call begins its rise upwards to reveal itself. 

For myself it is the beginning of a deeper understanding of what it means to be truly called and the end of being in familiarity and embarking into the unknown, knowing that through the power of the Holy Spirit, God, Our Creator cradles us and Christ travels with us.

Rest well Alpha. Hope you are eating all the Honey O's with tons o ice cream(?) and chocolate syrup(?) that you want. Even while you are not with us, you still make us laugh.

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.

CPE, In the Beginning...

“Hello, my name is Justin Tigerman and I am one of the summer chaplains.  I am calling to see if there might be a time when we can meet and visit each other for a bit.”

CPE has finally begun.  The long awaited summer of trials, tribulations, and testaments of pastoral care has finally come.  My father and friends recount often of how CPE was one of the most dramatic and formative times of their pastoral lives.  I am so excited.  For the most part, my ministry experience has been in camp settings for the past four summers and, while I loved my time there, I believe I am ready to broaden my ministry experiences into another setting.

I am at a retirement community for my CPE site.  My colleagues and I have split up the residents so that each of us has about 40 rooms to visit.  Some people have been quite receptive to the introduction at the top of this blog post.  Others have been less receptive.  One of the first lessons I am learning is how much weight the title of “chaplain” bears, even if “student” is directly in front of it.

One thing is for sure, there is a certain level of authority that I need to better understand and learn how to use in my endeavors this summer and beyond.  The truth is, however, that I am not the authority; God is.

Already in the first week, I have learned much (partially from the overwhelming orientation to the program).  I have learned a little about authority and about the graduality of a relationship.  We haven’t even gotten to family systems, story theology, or verbatims yet!  Oh what fun I have to look forward to this summer! J

Until Next Friday!

Oh the Places You Will Go...

What? Is that really my name?

Greetings from your friendly neighborhood Gypsy Seminarian, reporting to you live from Metro Chicago Synod Assembly!....

...actually it happened this past weekend.

Spring not only brings the flowers that leaped forth from Mother Earth and yelled "Hello world!"; Spring not only brings brightly colored homemade fruit and veggie stands with red and white awning, bursting forth with a wonderful harvest and awakening our taste buds to new and interesting foods. Spring gives the floodgates a shove as all the Synod Assemblies begin.

Awaiting the masses of the faithful

The Tinley Park Convention Center was transformed almost into one of those mega churches (perish the thought) with beautiful banners proclaiming the power of the risen Christ but of also the throng of witnesses proclaiming the Good News in every tongue. 

Interesting that the next weekend, the Illinois GOP would be meeting in the same space.

Glad a little Jesus got a chance to bless this place...

It seems like the years I have been able to go, I have gone in a volunteer capacity: I served on a Committee, greeted people at check in and this year, I initially participated in both Worship Services but also was asked to sit at the Lutherans Concerned/Chicago booth.

Collectively, we as a Synod are speaking with one voice. Perhaps we don't understand everything or even why we need to stand with those who historically some aspects of humankind tend to damn altogether. There were those during the hearings and debates didn't want us as a Church to speak out on this resolution supporting the Illinois Religious Freedom and Marriage Act; that we should advocate individually. 

Yet what about the Church's voice during the Civil Rights Movement? Didn't people of God, brothers and sisters in Christ come from the confines of their four sacred walls and walk through the streets proclaiming that restricting, limiting, enslaving a people just because of this or that or the other was wrong?  Perhaps people are afraid to step out on faith, and it's alright because we as children of God are not perfect. We are ever changing, growing, learning and sometimes just being who we are and remembering whose we are. 

My Synod passed this resolution but there is still more conversations to be had, and even more so, prayers to be joined together holding hands when we agree to disagree. Hearing those voices speaking out in that hearing room whether they agreed or were unsure or even frustrated meant that our spirits were alive, calling out our prayers to Our Creator knowing that He was also in that room with us, listening, surrounding and loving us.

Oh yeah..as a post script..someone nominated me to be a part of the Synod's delegation to Churchwide's Assembly next August 2013. I didn't know about this until well into that Friday afternoon. I have my suspicions about who did and well, it's awesome and humbling to be recognized and as I delve more into my Church and the people who link hands with me, I realize that my vocational walk becomes more and more real.

Until next time, Lape Bondye! God's Peace!

Wisdom and Summer

"What wisdom have you gained in your 25 years?"

is a question I was asked over lunch last week druing my Maymester class, Reading the Bible From a Multicultural Perspective. The question fell on my birthday, of course, and so I scrambled to think of a response. Now, I've learned any number of things, but for some reason the first thing that blurted out of my mouth was "laugh at yourself" followed closely by "don't spend money on cheap food, it's never as good". I fully believe those two things, but the question has stuck with me over the past few days, and I'm trying to come up with a better answer. Now, I don't really know that 25 years is enough time to gain true wisdom, but I've certainly had a lot of mentors along my life journey that have taught me various things: My mom taught me about unconditional love and homemade cooking. My dad taught me that being myself is the key to life. My friend Sandy taught me the importance of a good romantic comedy when I'm feeling down. So, yes, I've learned things. But I still have a lot more to learn in the years ahead, so I guess I'll keep on laughing at myself when I need to, and I'll keep enjoying good food, with good people. And that's exactly what this summer is for. I just finished up middler year, and it's the first year in a long time that I haven't had a full time summer job or anything else (like CPE...good luck juniors!). So, in between working with the Youth in Mission program at LSTC and volunteering at the Youth Gathering, I'm here in Chicago to experience my first Chicago summer, which I've been told are pretty awesome. I'm excited for festivals and free concerts, bike rides along the lake and laying by the beach, and all around experiencing God's creation as fully as possible. I'm hoping this summer of relative Sabbath will help me be refreshed and renewed before I head off to my internship at House For All Sinners and Saints in Denver, Colorado, which will be a whole new adventure. Undoubtedly I'll learn some wisdom from people who are important to me (and I've also learned wisdom from strangers too) this summer and I'll add it to my list that I can pass on to others some day. To get me started, what is the best bit of wisdom you've learned from someone important to you?