Restlessness

I think right about we could all use one of these.

Usually March signals the shift in the atmosphere that we have all been clamoring for. Winter has had her run on the stage, and now the scene changes and the intermission is slowly coming to an end. The orchestra now lifts the flute to their lips, and we await the light trill; the orchestra positions the violia against its shoulders and we await a sunny note to be pricked. What instead we are met with is a long drawn out soliloquy which has no end.

The Ides of March also signals the countdown, one month until we merry folk find out exactly where we are going; The Internship process for our interesting and calico band of seminarians has been one to write home about-filled with laughter and with a mysterious air. Therefore as we hunker down in the Refectory and the library, hushed away in the deep, soft chairs of the Grand Hallway our eyes are bright with mischief and with the question "Can we just know already?" 

Does the thirst that perhaps has been quenched throughout academica, returned because we have the need to actually be immersed in ministry? To make that first home visit; preach sermon for the third time on Sunday; converse with colleagues at Synod meetings; preside over a funeral? To actually be on our own and see what life is like on the other side? Do we view our Senior peers with envy because they soon will be living the dream?

Or mayhaps the Holy Spirit is dancing throughout the rainstorm, telling us that its alright to come and play?  The idea of being a living witness through Christ radiates through our being and we will be able to share and journey with new fellow brothers and sisters. It is exciting and nerve wracking and hopeful and scary all at once.

And last week, we were able to shed some of that nervous energy as we honored our own St. Dorothy-who even as she leaps into semi-retirement, still is informing us and helping us with scholarships galore:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKiCqG7AQHo

Here's to the coming Spring, and to finally able to sing the words..

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.

6 weeks , 45 days, 1008 hours, 60480 minutes until…

March Madness? Spring?

Perhaps those things and much more but now we weary travelers gather in front of the hearth awaiting the passing of this storm within and throughout Creation; a tsunami of classes, papers, reading and sleepless nights. We are released from the endless pasted smiles on our faces flowing down neatly cobbled hallways exchanging stories and baring our souls for strangers.  We huddle in darkened corners at stout carved wooden tables, mumbling and rearranging our futures with “So what are my top three choices again?” and “Do I really want to spend a year here?”

Meanwhile, the waterfalls have begun to open and push life forth as the Seniors are finding out now what Synod will be welcoming them and where they will be calling home. It is a shift in the atmosphere for many of us-we as Middlers/Interriddlers struggling over endless bridges of classes, trying to keep focused all the while realizing that in six weeks those doors will burst forth, opening us a new journey-and the Holy Spirit leading the way with a smile, in Her pink sandals cheering us along, calling out "You are a child of God!"

For now, we are hopeful for days that fill the skies with warmth and our afternoons playing volleyball, stretching out in the sun; in this Lenten season, we await that Sunday morning where the Sun will appear a bit different to our gaze but our souls will dances as fragile flames rejoicing at the coming of something phenomenal, something counter-cultural.

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.

And They're Off!

For many of us this is what the week has felt like...

"Come and fill our hearts with your peace, You alone O Lord are holy/ Come and fill our hearts with your peace..."

In this time and place, as we listened to gathering music Thursday morning before Chapel began, perhaps this is what many of us hoped and wished for. Spring not only begins another Semester of learning, of questing and dwelling but also of realizing how the journey now turns. Underneath the glow of candlelight and of voices raising as incense, weary travelers joined hands and hearts as various schooners, runabouts, sloops and longships sailed for Regions known, and destinations unknown. 

Still the flow of Creation ebbed and flowed as others raced into the beginnings of a never changing dawn. 

This week, many of my classmates began a two week migration as we delved into the waters of Internship Interviews, shedding out of our comfort zones and switching the microphone to the "on" switch for a good part of a day. For me, the realization of this bend in the crossroads encompassed my spirit the night prior and weighted heavily upon my spirit. What do I want out of this Internship? This common question in various colors was painted throughout these beginning conversations and for a moment, I honestly could not pull down and envelop myself in one particular shade. 

A wonderful elder and Assistant to my Bishop, Pastor Ray Lagania preached a rousing sermon Thursday morning. In this time of meditation, reflection and prayer Pastor Lagania not only proclaimed the Good News, he exclaimed the Good News! The good news of encouragement that Jesus Christ flows within our spirits and takes root within our souls; that we are not alone in our mission and ministries; that we were definitely not alone as we embarked on these journeys of Regional Assignments and Internship Interviews. Lent should be not about sorrow and somberness-but as people of God, brothers and sisters in Christ we should rejoice...because in this time we remember that Christ overcame death and soon we shall be able to shake the rafters with praise and thanksgiving.

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.

Closing the Lid on Perfection

The Gypsy Seminarian at Worship; Awesome place to be. Photo by Jan Boden

What will you shutter away during these days of reflection, renewal and journeying?

How counter-cultural these past two days must appear: we gathered out of humbleness in darkened sanctuaries, our souls smudged with a foreboding sign; we tripped through multi-colored fields of poppies boldly declaring our love in the coming morning sunshine.

At the church I currently have the joy of working this year as Confirmation guru, one of my youth commented "Should I wipe this off after we are done?" The week prior my 11 year old son, as I was picking him up from school so that we could go to said church thoughtfully replied after I inquired why he was carrying his cross necklace in his pocket, "Well, some of my friends are not really religious and I didn't want to offend them so I just waited until you picked me up." A fellow brother in Christ from another denomination was thrust in the spotlight for joining in an ecumenical service that apparently he should not, according to his denomination-and had to apologize for joining prayers of healing for a horrific event in an otherwise normal, everyday quiet community.

When did it become pase to be Christ-like? Why do we shutter away the sign of whose we are and whom we belong to except only to proclaim it boldly one day out of a year and even then we are apologetic? 

And yet throughout the world of social media there was a revolution; messages of Love from the text that sometimes leaves us scratching our heads or silent with deep meditation, a word from The Word reminding us and comforting us that God's Love never fails spilled out in endless waves. Through ashes we came forth but while we are here, being a witness boldly through the simple act of passing the peace, of professing Love for all from where we are as Christians into the social media- cradling those who are in pain, who are forgotten, who have been discarded by this world sometimes is the simplest act of love we can do.

There is no perfect way we can be Christian people daily, and by our ability to laugh and learn; by our ability to be vulnerable and affirming in our faith the sign of the Cross will be then, a sign of change; change that is continuous within our very being and throughout our spirits that we too, are a work in progress.

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.

What I Did on my J-Term Vacation?

Rugged Camp Fun...right....

There is a new buzz word: solo parenting.

J-Term or January Term around here means a variety of things: For many people once the end of the semester approaches, there is a mass exodus. Facebook updates joyfully proclaim traveling homeward, traveling to conferences or stocking up and preparing for classes for J-Term. This is when all the neat, interesting and awesome travel seminar courses commence. 

In this interim time where the community slowly murmurs to a serene afternoon river, caressing smooth rocks embedded in earth instead of cascading over this is also usually the time when I am either serving at a Church or camp as well as finishing up time with my two children before they returning begrudgingly back to classes and school. This is also a time, in this blessed quiet for my own spirit to reflect as Creation erupts in fields of crystal and white, of downy snow covered fields and sidewalks delighting us to yet another beauty that the Creator bestows upon us.

Except this year, I found myself on vacation from the church I serve as Youth leader (No Confirmation) and several weeks before me which I would have nothing to do! I happily attempted to empty the library of books that I needed for future research, planned my topic and scheduled when I would read and so forth. My only mini vacation? Hanging out at a LOMC Summer Staff camp reunion: silly Santa gifts, good grubby food and night hikes galore!

And then the supply preaching requests came up (You try preaching three services on Epiphany!). And then the conference circuit happened: Lutheran Ethicists?  Wow, I did not know these folks existed (well not saying that but I did not realize there was an official group). The topics, the conversation, the fact that I was the only M.Div'er there! The Conference of Lutheran Ethicists are a part of a larger conference: the Society of Christian, Muslim and Jewish ethicists which brings a good size membership out for a three day fest each year (Ph.D students they have a student membership-for you). Emotional Intelligence Assessment Workshop? Although this was also promoted as a class through the Seminary, I was humbled that my Synod office asked me to attend. Great concept, awesome stats..just three days too long. The Youth Conference? Something close to my heart and close to home! But by the end of these conferences, I was completely exhausted.

Who is this international man of mystery?

But alas, I digress.

These past couple of weeks I have also been doing this solo since my globe trotting husband decided to take the J-Term course with Dr. Mark Swanson and Dr. Peter V...in INDIA.

My own mother was a single parent and educator for quite many years. She scheduled and served both at her schools and at her church home. I watched, learned and retained how she was able to balance everything as the only way she knew how. We lived in a community where people who were not connected by anything other than where we came from and who our ancestors are, looked out for myself and those other children who lived and played. As I have dived briefly into these waters of solo parenting I am thankful for God placing me here in this community, where my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, in faith who remained here during this quiet time shared fellowship and friendship with one another. 

The Spring Semester will soon be upon us, and our friends who are traveling in Seattle, Nebraska and India will be home soon. For many this is just another continuing in the journey down the sometimes racy, rocky waters of Seminary. For myself and other middlers the horizons of Internship and  for our seniors, Assignment are coming into view. 

It's beginning to look a lot like April...

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.

Hot Tubs Make Me Feel at Home...Among Other Things

On Sunday I preached like I do every other Sunday, but this time it felt super familiar.  I am getting used to my church yes, but this time it was almost like I was back in Chicago...oh wait is that the honorable Terry and Karen Baeder in the crowd?!?!?!  Terry, on staff at LSTC, was visiting my internship site before heading up to lead our cluster retreat for interns and intern supervisors.  So maybe this should have been scary or nerve racking, but the trick was that Terry and his wonderful wife, Karen, attend church at Lutheran Church of the Resurrection where I did my ministry in context last year, an almost part time internship lasting about 7 hours a week.  So when asked if I was nervous, I was able to respond, this is not the first time they have heard me preach.  In fact they have heard me preach at least 5 or 6 times...so for me this was comforting, not one, but two friends in the crowd, who have given me critique and support all last year.  I felt at home, and not just because the weather is getting colder, but because it brought me back to all the experiences last year that prepared me to be an intern.

Now the retreat itself was amazing, getting to meet other interns and supervisors, and hearing about what everyone was doing.  I loved it, but the highlight for me was the hot tub!!!  Now in WI, the best part about hot tubs was when it was cold out, we would jump in them and be able to be outside even though it was not appropriate swimming weather.  And it just so happened to be 52 degrees out... so Monday morning I crawled out of bed and got in the hot tub before breakfast and later in the evening with some other interns we went back in there and chatted it up.  This was just a perfect addition to a wonderful couple of days, and I appreciate the willingness of the two Ohioans from Trinity Lutheran Seminary, Bob and Ethan, that joined me in remembering their baptism!

Community

The word community has had many different meanings for how we as humanity view the places we reside, work or celebrate. Last Sunday, the LSTC community as a whole came to Rockefeller Chapel to celebrate another brother in Christ welcomed into our community. 

Yet as we have heard through conversations whether it be in small groups or sharing through social media, that the sacred community that enfolds and embraces Seminary Life is rapidly diminishing. Perhaps those who are discerning their call to ordination, lay or academic teaching have not had the opportunity to experience how enriching Seminary community can be for us, especially as students. 

I thought I would share some snapshots over the years that I have resided here now as my mood turns reflective in the midst of preparing for Internship. 

Seminary is something that you must experience, and if possible immersed in the playful  and thoughtful daily life among other children of God.

Lape Bondye, God's Peace. 

Pickett's the Ticket!

It's no secret that political discourse is pretty loud at LSTC.  There are probably many reasons why this is, but it's safe to say that you don't have to walk far in our halls to find a few students - or maybe a classroom - discussing political issues, especially during elections like the one going on today.

Sometimes, we can take it all a little too seriously.  Sometimes, a majority opinion needs to be reminded that theirs isn't the only viewpoint represented in our community.  And, as election results are coming in at this very moment, I'm sure there are mixed emotions among all of us at LSTC.

Because of this, it's nice when a little lightheartedness comes to break the tension up a bit.  This morning, when we got to campus, we came upon this sight:

He was running unopposed this time around, I'm told.

On this election day, it was pretty fun to see all the reactions to this banner, hung on the second floor inside the courtyard.  I think it gave everyone a chance to laugh a bit, especially those of us who may have been a little too anxious about the day.  Dr. Pickett, one of our New Testament professors, is on sabbatical this semester, so I don't know if he knows he was at the center of the only political poster on campus this fall, but I'm pretty sure he'd enjoy the silliness of it all.

If anything, I think this one rogue act of a few students (I'm assuming students did this!) helped us all realize that we can't take these elections so seriously, especially when we believe in a God who is working to bring love to all of us in so many ways - including through laughter.

Election Day!

First time you can vote anywhere in Travis County!

So far from my registered state of WI where I vote, I was worried that I may miss out on the election day experience.  And although I know that my home congregation is a polling place in the small town I grew up in, it was a shock to me that of all the places in this college town Austin, my little church is the polling place for our part of town, which now makes us a polling place for anyone in the Travis County area (Austin and some surrounding area).  For the first time you do not have a designated place, but you can go anywhere in the county to vote.
So last night as we were calling it quits we started to see all kinds of signs for candidates and propositions, trying to give voters one last push before the big day.

Needs to be a certain distance away from the entrance...

So this morning the day arrived, Happy Election Day!  As I walked in to the kitchen I could see lines in our fellowship hall and the booths full of people casting votes.  It's an amazing sight to see all the people taking time out of their day to cast their vote, and for this area a lot of young people!

Who you gonna vote for?

Now some may see this as a contrast to separation of church and state, but I love that we are able to offer this service and be a help to our community.  I love that people who never come into our church are here in the most non-threatening and important way...
When I arrived in Austin, some people who I met would say, "Oh, that church by the bar Trudy's?... Oh yeah, I vote there!"
Which just makes it easier to say, "You should come back and visit..."

Oktoberfest

If only this was our Oktoberfest, but this is in Deutschland

There is something about a long Sunday that is more daunting now than ever; especially when you preach. Getting into church early and prepping for two services usually starts for me arriving at church at least by 6:30AM and ends at 1 with whatever after church meeting.  One of the last things you want to do is go back to church, so I retreat under covers and to my Packer bar to unwind, but not this weekend. 

This weekend was Oktoberfest.  

At around 5, we fill our parking lot with some tables and chairs, start grilling sausage and frying schnitzel!  Later people start to bring German dishes to share and some church members started playing music to listen to...German music? Nope.  We started with some steel drums, then some beautiful harmonized old time church songs, and we ended with some guitar from Oliver Rajamani, amazing musician from the Austin area.  My favorite part was the dueling home-brews, my supervisor's predecessor made an Oktoberfest and him and I had made the White House Honey Ale.  We didn't ask for votes, but both brews were enjoyed and paired nicely with our eclectic German meal.
The day was long, and as I woke up on Monday, I was so exhausted still, but it was a first for me seeing this congregation out of the Sunday morning box.  I was able to laugh with them and celebrate in a new way.  I heard stories that only come out when the sun is setting and the home-brew is gone, and more than that there were some lederhosens!  This party did not disappoint.  These are the memories that make me already scared to leave in August...

Falling in love with my internship site,

but I don't think they are looking for anything serious or long-term.

The Impending Surgery that Wasn’t and the Holy Spirit, Her Pink Boots

Systematic Theology is becoming one of my favorite courses because it is where I am able to intertwine my thoughts and spirituality into a beautiful theological yarn. Pouring out of Creation, it is ready to be slipped into my waiting hands and knitted into a fabric of protection and of comfort where one would want to snuggle underneath, watching an afternoon shower of rains on an unseasonably warm day.  Each moment I am present, the love for my vocation and for this call grows especially understanding how important the Holy Spirit truly is to all of us as people of Faith. Can you imagine the Holy Spirit hanging outside your door, splashing around in the courtyard in the mud or hovering, nestled in a tree outside your windows wiggling Her toes in Her pink boots waiting for your gaze to meet the new day; waiting for you to be open to what The Creator has for you.

For the past couple of weeks, however I’ve crawled back underneath that comforter because I wanted to hide and not face the brilliance of how stunning each morning appears to me.

In Seminary, I have found that health potholes whether we are running into them or family members or dear friends slowly crumble into view in our lives and we either stand there and are shocked or are screaming to the heavens “Really??Now??”

And so, I found myself facing a reality of having minor surgery for something that had been bubbling at the surface but not so intense until now. Even though I have had major surgery with the birth of both of my children my vision was clouded with the veil of what could lie ahead for me. I found myself nervous, weepy; life as I knew it was now uncertain.

Music that was birthed strictly for the nurturing the soul has always been a deeper part of my spiritual journey. In the midst of discerning, Shekinah Glory Ministries’ song “Yes” had me always weeping. Roaming around camp and singing “Oh Up Above my Head” allowed me to be open to what God was filling my life with. How we sing Psalm 95 in chapel causes my entire being to be alive enjoying worship. So last week during chapel and driving to church, gospel songs and hymns prickled at me, and the Holy Spirit whispered…

“Let Go and Trust God.”

My prayer was strangely not, for healing but to be with me as I went through this experience..that never happened.

Thanks Be To God.

TNF at LSTC

It was cold, rainy, dark, and miserable.  The stadium lights permeated the darkness to shine on a sea of orange shirts, fighting an ancient battle to run a pigskin down a neatly-combed field.  Okay, maybe it really wasn't that miserable.  Maybe it was awesome.

It was the season opener of LSTC's first foray into the University of Chicago's inter-mural flag football league.  In the past, our seminary has traveled far across the country to Gettysburg for their annual Luther Bowl weekend, which is coming up this Saturday; however, the team opted to miss that event this year in order to attend the festivities surrounding President Nieman's inauguration.  I'm not a huge fan of long roadtrips in crowded cars, so I had never witnessed an LSTC football game until Thursday night.  It was really cool to see our students gathered on the sidelines, as players and as fans, together in a communal gathering I hadn't witnessed here before.  It was a ton of fun. Of course, the fact that we won helped, too.

It seems grey hats are an optional part of the uniform.

There are still about 5 games left, all on Thursday nights.  Hopefully, I'll join the team for a few games, if I ever get my nose out of my books and get to the weekly practice session!

Ministry as Breaking Bubbles

Post-Reading-Week time is an interesting point in the semester.  Theoretically, everyone should be all caught up with reading, assignments, and life in general.  We have had a full week of no additional assignments or class time.  We had a break.  Unfortunately, the hard truth is that this is a world which rarely exists in seminary.  Here’s why: life happens.

It’s always a strange experience breaking out of my school life for an extended period of time.  Even in college I can remember my first time back home.  I went to Southpark Mall where I was amazed at all of the people’s clothing styles, language, and general interests.  I remember thinking, “Are people really like this?”  Readjusting to life outside of school for a week is a bit more challenging for me, as I am suddenly thrust into a world of reality which usually does not cater to the world of theory in which many institutions live.

In light of this reflection, I am really grateful that LSTC gets us, the students, out there from time to time.  I do not stay in Hyde Park every Sunday or Wednesday.  I remember going on several field trips as a part of my ethics curriculum.  I remember going to an immersion experience during orientation week to really make the statement, “This is where we are.  This is real.”

To be sure, I still put myself in a familiar scholastic bubble which gets jostled at every break.  Life is a bit different, but I will get better at breaking my bubbles as I learn more, and do more, ministry. 

ACL

So I usually brag being from Wisconsin about Summerfest, largest music festival in America, right in my backyard and LSTC's in the great city of Milwaukee, Chicago's up and coming hip cousin.  Last weekend I was introduced to something equally as great as my longtime tradition of Summerfest, the Austin City Limit's Music Festival (ACL)...oh my goodness! 70,000 people hanging out for three days in a giant park that overlooks downtown Austin, listening to so many greats of so many different genres.  I filled my mornings with bluegrass, banjo's and mandolin's playing at rapid paces, and in the evenings I deafened myself with electric guitars and drums.  I had an amazing time and I didn't really peg the true why until the third day of the festival.
Keep in mind there is a quote by one of my friends that I might majorly screw up, but she was explaining to someone my love of music..."no you dont understand, he is addicted to live music, it's like his crack."  Now that is a little over the top, but not too far off and the reason i say this is because of the layout of my third day.
I woke up Sunday morning, I went to church and preached the sermon (oh yeah I was tired, but Stewardship Sunday waits for no one!!!).  I left immediately and I arrived to the park, able to get front and center for this onslaught of music.  I had a little time before Gary Clark Jr, Austin native who plays the guitar to it's extreme, so much so that I think he might be Hendrix reborn.    After that was a newer group called the Civil Wars, with heart crushing harmonies and stories of love lost.  Then came The Avett Brothers, my whole reason for going to ACL, one of my favorite bands ever and a group that just seems to ignite crowds with their behavior and sing along style of music.  I closed out the night and weekend with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who I have been listening to for years.  But why does any of this matter?

Jimi...I mean Gary Clark Jr.

The Civil Wars

The Avett Brothers!!!

I realized why I need or am addicted to live music...Gary Clark Jr. plays with a spirit that anyone recognizes as pure passion for music.  He knows his guitar so well that he can sing what he plays, a rare feat in soloing (Jimi Hendrix could do it).  The Civil Wars have a passion in their lyrics that you realize in the way they sing and harmonize, they really synced with the crowd.  The Avett's have an energy that I have never seen matched.  The way they sing and scream, run around and play with a ferocity that is unmatched, but can slow it down and sing a ballad that brings tears to the eyes.  That kind of raw power can only be created by a few.  Lastly, the longevity of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, knowing their ups and downs and all they survived over the years, and how they have adapted over the years.  They have found their niche and they cant imagine doing anything else.
Live music creates a family that seems to understand each other.  Especially at the front, the theme is that the people we are about to see play music that understands me, excites me, empowers me, and for some including me, got me through the hardest parts of life.  I have seen joy and pain in concerts, people laughing and some crying, others smiling while others look deep in thought.  This weekend was worship; a community living together, breaking bread together, caring for each other, standing in the rain together, standing in the sun together, and singing loudly, always looking out for one another.  We became something more together than apart, the same calling that has pushed me to seminary and kept me in the church all these years.

Making a Joyful Noise!

Your friendly neighborhood Gypsy Seminarian and company..Thanks to Jan Boden for this picture!

Once upon a time there was mass chaos in a community. Everyone raised their voices in a cacophony of mixed rhythm of noise and cymbals trying to gather together and breathe in one beautiful note but they all had their own method; no one would open their hearts to be communal with the other. Then a little light voice piped up over the sea of notes and chimed "HEY".....

Okay, so perhaps that's not how it happened mind you but I have to confess that before Seminary I was quite introverted. And now? I still am.

Last year, our Seminary was reaching out for prayers and for the Holy Spirit as they continued to strive to a holistic balance for our entire community. This meant that many of our independent Centers had to ponder new ways of doing ministry and for our newest named Pete Pero Multicultural Center that meant perhaps it would be left on the shores, lost among the shadows of the evening. 

On a Thursday evening late last Fall Semester the Students of Color met to brainstorm the how and why about the Center. In the midst of this kicking the soccer ball session I saw an opening and offered "Hey, why not a benefit concert? Works for everyone else." Great! the group approved and I was pleased knowing someone who would slam the idea into the goal except..

"Hey Kwame, would you mind heading this up since this is your idea?"

"Uhhhh...sure."

Seminary has unfurled before me as a place to explore my ministry, vocation and my call. Seminary has been a safe haven for introverts as I for the opportunity to actually get involved and feel a sense of accomplishment. Even with the struggles and frustrations as with any ministry, the church is not dead. As the realization dawned over me this week that taking a fundraising idea from start to finish is just as doing a Stewardship drive at a church. That seeing a project through is just as if one was starting a new ministry or revitalizing one long ago forgotten. Being immersed in projects and activities is the practical side which gives us a smooth balance to the academic. Learning also how to delegate, promote and organizing is also too, tools that we need as aspiring pastors and leaders of the church. Learning how to kick the doors open and allow the Holy Spirit to rush in, to flood in, to take a seat and challenge those safe places in our box is an awesome rush.

Musicians collaborating as the Spirit moves them. Picture by R.Pitts

Haunting songs of praise and of direction by our Gospel Choir. Picture by R. Pitts

The Creator hears us in many different forms; we are all His children. Picture by R.Pitts

I would be lying if I didn't say I am thankful that this Concert for the Center has drawn to a close. But I am more thankful because of the impact and the visibility the Center now has and how much people were touched by the music, multicultural. I am thankful for my fellow students who marched in those worn, kicked open doors and made a joyful noise about how important this place was to us. 

Now, for a well deserved nap.

Or perhaps plotting and planning for something new.

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.

The Power to Say No: A Journey

I'm surprised I haven't found this plasted across my Treehouse Door..

A number of weeks ago, the middlers, super middlers and the interiddlers gathered in the spacious, sprawling Common Room on the third floor during our free time (which is commonly known as lunch time) for the wonderful presentation by our Field Ed folks on "Brace Yourself (blank) is getting Real" or what is more known as Internship Orientation. They attempt to make this as cheerful as possible, with colorful paper smiling up at us loaded with tons of information.

Dr. Baeder was in the midst of answering question when the subject of what a typical (insert laughter here) week within the parish/congregation might look like. This translated into a 55 hour work week of fun. I swiveled around in my chair to high five my other awesome interiddler gal and we silently nodded "We got this." However the tension in the room increased almost in waves upon hearing these words and from the back of the room, someone pipped up "55 hours? The students need to organize and unionize! That's ridiculous."

Before the snarky (term of endearment)  part of me (sung to the tune of Katy Perry's 'Best Part of Me') surfaced thanks to a year in my fabulous MIC congregation(no worries, I love them all to pieces), I had to pause for a moment: although longer days and prayerful nights were going to be the norm in all of our vocational lives, we still needed to practice self-care which does not come easy. As pastors and depending on the situation, we literally could be doing many things for the betterment of our parishes and our congregational members. We may end up taking care of things that perhaps we had not thought of; we may be snatching the reins of life because we are perfectionists and if its going to get accomplished, we want it done correctly.

And that brings me to the present, because recently a number of my friends have pulled a "NO" intervention on me. I am seriously guilty of getting involved in any and everything because, well I blame it on my genes (and my mother would agree wholeheartedly). Projects, benefit concerts, problems, organizing people, running meetings, high liturgical circus fun...yes every time these are presented my mind begins reeling about how we can get these things perfectly finished and polished. I can not say no. Is it the fact that I am so enthused about being in Seminary and involved in ministry that I do flying leaps over this journey, racing towards a horizon that is beautifully blinded by the fragility of sunrise?

Then again, the Creator raised His hands to the darkness of the beginning of time and with a deliberate and slow tempo created a thing of wonder and a joy to behold and praise forever and ever. There are moments when He tugs at my hand and sits me down to show me corners of this, Mother Earth and whispers for me to stand still and behold. 

So I am practicing this, saying no and speaking life into what I can do with joy and a resounding "Yes". I am practicing surfing on waves that can carrying me safely onto shores filled with seashells, curled and hidden in the waters of Baptism. 

It is going to be very hard, however to let go of control and just breathe.

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.

Dishes

Some freshly washed pans for Companion Cafe

I am realizing that the biggest moments in my life usually have me at some point being a dishwasher.  When you work at camp many times you end up standing at a sink washing countless amounts of cups and plates.  The same was true in New Orleans when I was interning at a rebuilding camp, where they almost instantly put me on dishes and kitchen duty to help with feeding the 200+ volunteers a week.  And lastly, here in Austin, my Wednesday nights will now be spent at a sink.
My church has started a Wednesday night dinner called Companion Cafe. The goal being to serve up hearty plates of food at an affordable price.  The plates consist of an entree, starch, and vegetable with a self serve salad in the dining room.  Tea and coffee also included.  I am eager to be involved in such a unique, yet simple event.  Companion Cafe will be a great way for us to reach out to our own church, as well as our daycare families, and our surrounding community.  We did a practice run last week and will again Wednesday night be trying our skills in the kitchen.  It was fun seeing some of my congregation in a new light, making food and laughing.  We had more time to talk than in passing on Sunday, a real chance to get to know one another.  This opportunity seems so simple, coming together during the week and eating a big meal together, but it takes a lot of planning.  Even after it starts, Wednesday night at the Companion Cafe will still have people baffled by the simple beauty and worried that there is another agenda, but it's not.  Just come buy a cheap plate of food and hang out with your brothers and sisters for a bit and then go on your way.  But all this food does create dishes, and as a leader in a church to be back in the kitchen washing dishes so others can truly enjoy the night is splendid.
I don't actually think that my big moments in my life are defined by doing dishes, but rather that there is food, and food usually suggests community.  Whether it be at camp, church, or even Jesus with his disciples, you see food cultivating the community.  Even at LSTC we had Sunday night potlucks that were well attended and most meetings were held during meals or with some kind of snack.
For me personally, I love doing dishes!  In the ups and downs of ministry, we are not always sure of the day and what it may bring.  You do not always see the effects of ministry, and it's not that I need to, but for five hours on a Wednesday night I grab a dirty dish and wash it.  It's a chance to meditate on the simple, let my guard down and just clean stuff.  I reminisce to all the sinks I have been at, from a LSTC potlucks, to camps, and even to the future Wednesday night dishes.  I am so blessed to be part of so many different communities.  What a difference a little soap and water can make.

The Dark Side of LSTC

This past week I decided to add something to my LSTC experience that I had not tried before: night cleaning crew.   I basically get to take out LSTC’s trash, clean chalkboards and whiteboards, vacuum, mop, sweep, wipe down tables, and keep an eye out for supplies that need to be replaced.  I get to do all of this stuff from 9pm-12am every Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.  It’s not too much outside of the scope of the maintenance skills I developed at camp but it is an unexpected opportunity for me.  I originally scheduled to work night crew for two reasons: income and intentional time when I couldn’t stress myself out with homework.  I’ve received both benefits that I was hoping for, but I am getting something that I wasn’t expecting from the experience.

It’s one thing for me to go to class and worship at the sacred spaces at LSTC.  It’s another sort of spiritual experience for me to clean them.  I wipe tables where I and other colleagues have spent our day learning, praying, and pouring ourselves into our work and workspaces.  I wipe boards where teachers have imparted ideas and where theologies can continually be manifest in the following class day.  I mop and sweep the worship spaces at LSTC where tears are shed, praise is given, and where God is continually present in our gathering.  Yeah, my job is pretty cool.  J

In this job, so far, I have found that the dark side of LSTC holds many sacred opportunities as the lights which I am so accustomed to dim and a new way of understanding the world of LSTC is experienced.  Perhaps it’s in the darker places of our experience where we learn a new way of understanding our world and our theological perspectives.  It’s probably in the darker places where it’s not necessarily scary, but extremely formative and sacred.  It’s in the dark side of LSTC where I get to experience a totally different way of theological formation.  And where I get to see how much Starbucks our student population consumes on an average class day.

Until Next Thursday! (If I can remember, we all kind of switched up the days.)

What Kind of Theologian Are You?

"..every theologian is committed and alienated; he is always in faith and doubt; he is inside and outside the theological circle" Paul Tillich

Over the summer months while I was immersed in the throes of Youth and Outdoor Ministry, my former Ministry in Context pastor suggested some light theological reading before diving into the churning, dark and foreboding waters of Systematic Theology. Apparently Systematics becomes the turning point of our academic lives where the practical we have studied, learned pulls our thoughts and spirits deeper into the journey. In other words, we run screaming at the mere mention of Paul Tillich.

As the Semester triumphantly began and my first class was S.T. I cringed slightly. The beauty of the summer had come, and gone; I'd barely had time to sink and submerge myself into the joys of relaxation and respite; primarily because I was running around 640 acres of insanity. I may have mentioned this before. I digress.

Bringing this back to the forefront, although I had initially ordered and carried with me this wonderful read called "Faith Seeking Understanding" by Migliore, I never got a chance to crack it open and run rampant through its pages. This semester, I mused sadly, was going to be rocky.

Dr. Lea opened up class with an amusing question "What kind of theologian do you see yourself?" My wonderful friend and neighbor next to me stated "How can I? I really have never thought of myself as one." My other fellow classmate (the fellow blogger insanely taking a class on 1 Corinthians) quipped "Uh, okay?" There was laughter and collaboration as we all attempted to figure this out for ourselves. 

For this Gypsy Seminarian, the lingo of who I am as a theologian has been trapped in the English language. Who I am as a child of the Creator and what knowledge and wisdom has been passed down through the drums of the ages; of how my ancestors embraced Creation and allowed themselves to be vulnerable to the message of God; what truly being Christ-like means for my vocation and the message of the Scriptures, especially the Psalms means to my ministry and my mission in this life. 

"Can a system of life which has been practiced for centuries be entirely worthless? Or does it contain elements of divine knowledge that might shed a new understand of the Christian faith? Theology of the ancestors is about an interpretation of the past in a way that shows the present experience and knowledge of God in Jesus Christ as reflected in the lives of the African people."

Ancestral Theology. Hmm.

Stay Tuned.

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.

All in Good Kairos

During the course of this immersion week into our new classes, I found myself telling a classmate that the classroom may end up being where I get my social time this semester.   Now, at the end of the first week of classes, I’m not so sure if that is the case entirely but it has been a bit of an overwhelming week.  Aside from the Ministry in Context program I will be taking Hebrew, Systematic Theology 1, Preaching, and a doctoral seminar on 1 Corinthians.  Yikes.  I know that my class situation is not as busy as it could be.  I have a colleague who is taking 6 classes this semester (crazy!!!).  I also know that I am not alone in my feeling of overwhelmed as a junior MDiv student told me earlier today that his week has been like “taking a drink out of a fire hose.”  

I’m starting to remember, however, that on Thursday most of us take one big collective sigh of relief and somehow can discover enough time to live the lives we have outside of class. Today after school, I saw a large group go over to Jimmy’s for a celebratory drink.  I am currently doing laundry and getting myself ready to jam with a good friend of mine later this evening.  Looks like the classroom won’t be my only source of social interaction after all.  Still, though, it is somewhat difficult to imagine having a life while classes are beginning. 

Ultimately, for me, it will come down to making time for myself.  I want to jam, talk with people, play the occasional videogame, exercise, grab some sushi, and take a little time to go visit family in other parts of the country.  It will be important for me to remember that this all doesn’t have to happen at once, but that it will happen all in good kairos.

Until Next Thursday!