I've been working on dependency on internship. It seems to be a tight rope for me, trying to decide when and how to trust on top of who. In seminary, we get told over and over again about safe boundaries, especially between a pastor and his or her congregation. I confess this fear of boundary crossing led me to form a wall between myself and my parishioners. Not good.
So where's the line? How do you become vulnerable in order to connect without over sharing, without crossing a boundary, without sacrificing yourself? How do you get to a place where giving of yourself is a gracious act of service and not means for resentment or martyrdom?
I'm walking... and now's the time to walk, right? Time to test the waters. Time to not engage and watch people yearn to connect to me more. Time to figure out how to break down that wall I've created and truly engage and connect without then also weeping on their shoulders.
Far from some CEO refusing to mingle with the minions, my heart is on the line. We are all the body of Christ together and yet, the pastor has a nurturing and guiding role that sets her or him apart from the rest. There's no easy way to describe this relationship between pastor and people. If so, it'd be easier to do, as well.
Odd business, this ministry. And God bless internship so I can figure out how to do it!