Saturday, May 28, 2011

Can't You Stay?

And as my time left here in Montana begins to shrink down, I find myself wishing I could stay. Of course there's the part of me ready for seminary again. Ready for Chicago. Ready for a break from ministry for more than a day or two. Ready to see the people who knew me long before Montana was even a possibility.

The hardest part is that I'm not the only one wishing I could stay. And it's not about the friends I've made here (for though I will miss them desperately, I'm allowed to stay in touch with them). It's more about my congregation. As the pastor is leaving the church and I am fulfilling the role of pastor until I'm finished with internship, more and more of my congregation is asking me to stay. Some ask knowing that I cannot. Some ask with a bit of a joke in their voice. But the majority of the time, there's a quiet plea underneath that is begging me to change the system and stay.

And I suspect this will be the hardest part of senior year: knowing I could be a pastor but am not one yet. Well at least not beyond the priesthood of all believers sense of things. But I love my congregation and understand their plea for me to stay.

I accept that change is necessary for growth... but goodness it's a difficult beast.

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