Guilty Pleasures

I can always tell the state of my metal health by three things: how clean my apartment is; if my writing is sane enough to be published; and how many containers of Ben & Jerry's is currently in my freezer.

Right now, half the furniture is dusted, I am writing a blog post, and Chubby Hubby is taunting me from my kitchen.  So I'd say I'm halfway back to normal.

Stressful times are not uncommon while in seminary.  Right now the community bobbing up and down, ebbing and flowing with the stress filled waves of CPE openings, Senior Assignments, and Internship interviews.  Any one of these things is enough to make a person reach out for their favorite guilty pleasure.  The irony that they all occur in the Lenten season when chocolate is out and vegan Friday's is in does not escape me.

When I first started seminary, I didn't think anything could be more stressful than learning Greek.  A half a year later when I was on CPE in New Hampshire watching parents say goodbye to their newborn who had died from birthing related injuries, I realized that languishing over languages doesn't even scratch the surface of stressful.

Such as with life, a few months later when the sea had subsided and I was back in school, I again felt overwhelmed by language and found myself trolling the dairy aisle at the grocery store.  Stress is real.  Stress happens to all of us.  And it doesn't matter what has come before, when we are in the midst of a stressful time we crave those creature comforts as if for the first time.

It's important that comforts don't become their own source of stress.  As a stress eater, I could easily go up a pant size during finals.  It takes work to remember that when the water surges around us that the waves will again subside.  In the midst of my CPE sea, I never would have realized how much I benefited from the grace of watching parents say goodbye in a loving way.  I never would have realized that living in rural New Hampshire would make me courageous when applying for internships, ready to accept any geographic location or community size.

Our greatest guilty pleasure is the one we don't need to regret in the morning and the one that won't make stepping onto a scale a haunting experience.  The grace of our loving God gives us the life vest to bob in the water when our legs are tired of treading.

Perhaps the reason why CPE openings, Senior Assignments and Internship interviews happen during Lent is to help us remember to reach for our Bibles instead of walking towards the freezer.  Chubby Hubby is delicious, but the grace of God is a remedy that lasts forever. 

Lenten Discipline

from flickriver.com

As this semester continues to creep by week by week, I find that this semester is 'heavy on the reading'. Between the Gospels, Confessions, Pastoral Care & Counseling and my Interfaith Emphasis class of Arab Awakening! I easily read 300 pages a week.  And unfortunately, these readings are nothing like the Laura Ingalls Wilder books I read as a child!  But, even with the intense class load and traveling home every other week to see Scott, I am disciplining myself to a Lenten practice: Weekly Bible Study and Daily Prayer.  OK- that is two practices.  While the prayer tends to be hit or miss, this past week at 7:30 each morning I found myself reading the assigned scripture, praying for myself, my prayer partner and others.  And, each morning I pray that I continue to have the daily discipline for prayer.  A wonderful tradition which I learned from my home congregation.  May you too find a discipline which brings you ever more closely to God.

God's blessings on this Lenten season~

And They're Off!

For many of us this is what the week has felt like...

"Come and fill our hearts with your peace, You alone O Lord are holy/ Come and fill our hearts with your peace..."

In this time and place, as we listened to gathering music Thursday morning before Chapel began, perhaps this is what many of us hoped and wished for. Spring not only begins another Semester of learning, of questing and dwelling but also of realizing how the journey now turns. Underneath the glow of candlelight and of voices raising as incense, weary travelers joined hands and hearts as various schooners, runabouts, sloops and longships sailed for Regions known, and destinations unknown. 

Still the flow of Creation ebbed and flowed as others raced into the beginnings of a never changing dawn. 

This week, many of my classmates began a two week migration as we delved into the waters of Internship Interviews, shedding out of our comfort zones and switching the microphone to the "on" switch for a good part of a day. For me, the realization of this bend in the crossroads encompassed my spirit the night prior and weighted heavily upon my spirit. What do I want out of this Internship? This common question in various colors was painted throughout these beginning conversations and for a moment, I honestly could not pull down and envelop myself in one particular shade. 

A wonderful elder and Assistant to my Bishop, Pastor Ray Lagania preached a rousing sermon Thursday morning. In this time of meditation, reflection and prayer Pastor Lagania not only proclaimed the Good News, he exclaimed the Good News! The good news of encouragement that Jesus Christ flows within our spirits and takes root within our souls; that we are not alone in our mission and ministries; that we were definitely not alone as we embarked on these journeys of Regional Assignments and Internship Interviews. Lent should be not about sorrow and somberness-but as people of God, brothers and sisters in Christ we should rejoice...because in this time we remember that Christ overcame death and soon we shall be able to shake the rafters with praise and thanksgiving.

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.

Closing the Lid on Perfection

The Gypsy Seminarian at Worship; Awesome place to be. Photo by Jan Boden

What will you shutter away during these days of reflection, renewal and journeying?

How counter-cultural these past two days must appear: we gathered out of humbleness in darkened sanctuaries, our souls smudged with a foreboding sign; we tripped through multi-colored fields of poppies boldly declaring our love in the coming morning sunshine.

At the church I currently have the joy of working this year as Confirmation guru, one of my youth commented "Should I wipe this off after we are done?" The week prior my 11 year old son, as I was picking him up from school so that we could go to said church thoughtfully replied after I inquired why he was carrying his cross necklace in his pocket, "Well, some of my friends are not really religious and I didn't want to offend them so I just waited until you picked me up." A fellow brother in Christ from another denomination was thrust in the spotlight for joining in an ecumenical service that apparently he should not, according to his denomination-and had to apologize for joining prayers of healing for a horrific event in an otherwise normal, everyday quiet community.

When did it become pase to be Christ-like? Why do we shutter away the sign of whose we are and whom we belong to except only to proclaim it boldly one day out of a year and even then we are apologetic? 

And yet throughout the world of social media there was a revolution; messages of Love from the text that sometimes leaves us scratching our heads or silent with deep meditation, a word from The Word reminding us and comforting us that God's Love never fails spilled out in endless waves. Through ashes we came forth but while we are here, being a witness boldly through the simple act of passing the peace, of professing Love for all from where we are as Christians into the social media- cradling those who are in pain, who are forgotten, who have been discarded by this world sometimes is the simplest act of love we can do.

There is no perfect way we can be Christian people daily, and by our ability to laugh and learn; by our ability to be vulnerable and affirming in our faith the sign of the Cross will be then, a sign of change; change that is continuous within our very being and throughout our spirits that we too, are a work in progress.

Lape Bondye, God's Peace.